The Journey That Brought us Here...Part 2

So, if you didn't know already, you've figured out that this journey did finally lead us to a baby...but trust me when I say it wasn't easy. I am going to continue where I left off in our last post...This may be long, but I want to be able to look back and remember what got us here. I want to remember to stay thankful.

After our first miscarriage I changed around doctors a lot. I knew I didn't like the one I had, and heard good things about another doc that people I worked with went to. It was a weird time in my life because very few people had known about the pregnancy because I guess I was worried about people's reactions to us being pregnant and not married. But it was also hard for me to keep the hurt a secret. Thank God for the few people that did know and supported us. I know I wouldn't have made it without them. Looking back I also remember them telling me in the hospital that my HCG was VERY high, but my progesterone was low...this would be vital later.

Our previous Doctor had told us after the first miscarriage that we needed to wait three months until we tried again, which would put us at August. At that point we knew we just weren't emotionally ready and decided to just enjoy our lives, and plan our wedding. We knew that when we WERE ready we would know. We also knew that we didn't want to have a baby too close to the wedding so we ended up just deciding to wait until closer to the wedding to even think about trying again. The way we both looked at it, especially after being pregnant once, was that if it happened we would embrace it but if it didn't we wouldn't be worried either.

I don't exactly remember when it was but I think it was February or March when we stopped actively preventing but we weren't actively trying either. We got the SHOCK of our lives when we found out we were pregnant again, two days before our wedding on Cinco De Mayo. The doctors wanted me to wait until I had actually "missed" my cycle before getting blood work done. I have a lot of unanswered questions about that time, wondering if I would have gotten it done sooner, if we could have stopped something...but I also stay grateful that I didn't know what would happen...

I had a lot of sickness from the get go with my second pregnancy...throwing up constantly! It made me glad because I never had many symptoms with my first. This time we told even LESS people than before, knowing what could happen. On May 13th I got a call from my Dr's office that I should expect to miscarry due to my blood work results. I went home early from work that day and the next day, just a week after my wedding I miscarried for the 2nd time. This time I was 5 weeks and 2 days along and I didn't need to go to the hospital like I had before. It was over fairly quickly. The next day my doctor called me from home apologizing for the blood work. He was surprised to learn it was already over and wanted me to come in for an appointment and further blood work. At that appt the doctor told me he wanted me to get a procedure done known as an HSG.

The HSG in basic terms showed that my uterus and fallopian tubes were functioning normally. The blood work I had done, known as a Repeated Pregnancy Loss panel, took awhile to come back but when it did we learned I was something called ANA positive. In the beginning it was very scary because there were so many things it could mean. The doctors were pretty sure this was why I was miscarrying, although I still had my progesterone suspicions. They sent me to a rheumatologist who after 12 tubes of blood ruled out serious diseases such as lupus and rheumatoid arthritis. I basically was non specific. We don't know why I have it, only that I do. It does complicate pregnancy, as it can attack any pregnancy because the body recognizes it as a foreign invader. I was also told I had a Vitamin D deficiency. From that point on I started taking a baby aspirin every day, a prescription Vitamin D supplement and extra folic acid.

In December of 2011, my levels were up to a good spot and all my bloodwork was back. We decided we would stop preventing at that point. Cycle after cycle, nothing was happening, and I still had a feeling that something was going on with my progesterone. My doctor was not willing to supplement my progesterone...so once again, I changed doctors. To be Continued... ;)

The Journey that Brought Us Here-Part 1

Nick and I met and started dating on November 28, 2008.

Nick was working full time in Dillsburg and I was working in a childcare facility in Maryland. I quit my job in Maryland and began working at a Daycare in York City to be closer to him. We moved in together in February of 2009. Or I should say, I moved into his Mom's house, with him. We moved into our first apartment together in June of 2009, and our furbaby Lexi, came with us!

We lived in an expensive, TINY one bedroom apartment in Mechanicsburg.

Nick and I both started new jobs after our move. Nick continued to work part time at Dillsburg and also started working full time as a paramedic in the West Shore Area. In August of 2009, I started work full time as a Head Start preschool teacher in Harrisburg, PA. We got Engaged on February 14, 2010. It was amazing and is still one of my favorite memories.

We found out we were expecting our first baby in late March/Early April 2010. We went on our first REAL trip/vacation in Mid April 2010, with our best friends.

The summer after our vacation was a hard one. My grandmother, or Mom Mom, passed away late that April. Shortly after, I miscarried for the first time on May 1, 2010. I was 8 weeks and 2 days along. The baby was due December 10, 2010. I believe that that baby was a boy and have had dreams of my Mom Mom holding him in a blue blanket in heaven.

In June of 2010, Nick and I moved yet again, this time to Carlisle. Nick transferred EMS stations and I VERY happily transferred classrooms. We loved our spacious condo. Unfortunately, we had to leave Lexi with my Mom, as the new place does not allow pets. The move to Carlisle was good for both of us. We were less stressed, saving money and enjoying our new place. We were able to start wedding planning!

On Father's Day of that year my dad was involved in a horrific motorcycle accident on Father's day. While we were in NJ supporting my Dad and all that entailed, Nick's grandfather passed away.

Coming back from that tragic span of time was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I did it though, with lots of support from Nick, friends and family, and a few therapy sessions. It was really hard on Nick too, although he tries to stay strong for me, I know he struggled with the fairness of it all. But we did it, and I truly believe we are stronger as individuals and as a couple because of it.

To Be Continued....